Interview With One Man Gang

Interview With
One Man Gang
Animated Barbed Wire for title separation.

OMG: What is your name, Bob, Rob, Don, what is it, brother?

Bob: It's Bob.

OMG: Okay, Bob, I called in yesterday afternoon, and nobody would pick this telephone up. I wanna know what's going on around here. What was you doing yesterday afternoon?

Bob: I was patiently awaiting your phone call.

OMG: Yeah, you was patiently waiting nothing. I believe you was back in that bathroom taking a big crap is what you was doing. Well, let's get onto some business. Tonight down there at The National Guard Armory I'm in a Weapons Match with Kevin Northcutt, and in case anybody doesn't understand what a Weapons Match is, I want the fans to bring the weapons down. We need some 2x4's, some brooms, some mops, just, y'know, some nice weapons that I can bust him upside his head with. Then we gonna put 'em all in a big ol' barrel, a big bucket, we're gonna bring it out to the ring, throw it in there, then I get to use anything I can get my hands on, and believe me, The One Man Gang might have some surprises up his sleeve that you will not believe.

Bob: Now, let me tell you something. I don't want to play Devil's Advocate here, Gang, but I talked to Kevin yesterday, he says he has a surprise or two for you.

OMG: Well, what you talking about, Don, is that your name, Don?

Bob: Bob.

OMG: Bob, oh, sorry Bob. Well, I'm not worried about big Kevin Northcutt with any surprises. I come here to Pittsburg, Kansas. What is this University over here, what's the name of this University anyway?

Bob: Pittsburg State.

OMG: Pittsburg State. WOW! I'm really impressed with this, y'know? What's the name of the football team? They got a football team?

Bob: The Gorillas.

OMG: Oh, wow, The Gorillas. Yeah, they look like a bunch of Gorillas. But anyway, I'm gonna be at The Armory. I'm in a Weapons Match, we got the "Wildfire" Tommy Rich, I used to watch him when I was a little boy. He's gonna be there tonight. Doink The Clown, and alot of other stuff's going on. But the main thing I'm worried about is that Weapons Match. I love busting people with weapons. That's my main thing I do. I know how to hurt somebody, and somebody's gonna get hurt tonight at The Armory, I guarantee it. And don't forget 5 to 6 PM this evening, we're a little while away from now, I'm supposed to be at Mazzio's Pizza, yeah, I'm gonna be there eating, don't..

Tommy Rich: I don't want no pizza from you. (off Mic).

OMG: Shut up over there, shut your hole. I'm gonna be eating, don't worry about it, but I'll be there to sign some autographs, take some snapshots, kiss babies, and any pretty ladies that come in of course. But the main thing tonight, National Guard Armory. Weapons match. Look at that, my watch fell off.

Bob: You dropped your bracelet...

OMG: Shut up Don.

Bob: It's Bob.

OMG: Bob, whatever, I don't really give a crap.

Bob: All right, there you go, The One Man Gang, "Natural Born Killer" Kevin Northcutt, Main Event, Weapons Match. Tickets still on sale. It's at The National Guard Armory, Pittsburg, Kansas 8 O'clock. Be there.

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